Relying on the kindness of strangers

09 Tuesday Jul 2013

Tags

card reader, friendly, happy each day, kindness, subway, taxi, train station

After discussing my post about homeless people in New York City, my sister commented that homeless people are usually some of the friendliest people because they are so accustomed to relying on the kindness of strangers. True.

So it got me thinking. There are so many other people in New York that I found to be kind and friendly. Not just homeless or needy people. But first of all, it seems such a big deal to comment about basic friendliness in NYC as though automatically we assume they’re not. Maybe we assume that because there are just so many people everywhere all the time, how can all those people possibly be friendly? Poor New York. It’s so misunderstood.

Taxi drivers were helpful showing us where to go once we were dropped off. They also chatted up a storm on various topics: what they would do if they weren’t driving a car, how much they loved what they used to do but can no longer do it, Egyptian politics, divorce and love, their family, and how important it is to be happy each day (!), etcetera. Subway station attendants went out of their way not to just help me but others, using their microphones from their cage-offices helping people get their cards to work in the finicky turnstile readers.

The housekeeper and attendants at the apartment I rented were friendly and helpful. Often people don’t speak English as a first language, but they speak excellent Spanish or Italian so those traveling with me were perfectly suited to speak to them. And they’d humor me with my English-as-an-only language what with my sign language and non-verbals.

The guys at the bagel store seemed to recognize me and greeted me warmly and were able to accurately guess what I’d order based on the other days I visited. The owner of the apartment offered to take me to the green grocer and the florist, a trip I never took with her, regretfully.

So what’s not friendly about NYC? Nothing I witnessed personally. I saw a few crazy people get angry at this or that but nothing ever directed at me. I guess with that many people in any given place, you’re bound to have some tempers flare. Especially during summer when it is so hot.

But when someone talks about a place where people are generally considered rude and unkind, I don’t think of New York City.

A non-Moroccan woman in Morocco

29 Wednesday May 2013

Posted by seejanesblog in Morocco

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

countryside, grand daughter, granddaughter, grandma, grandmother, hitchhiker, hitchhikers, intimate questions, moroccan woman, Morocco, non-Moroccan, non-Muslim, school, t, taxi, tourist

1. Men don’t touch women.
2. Men can’t break up the fight of two women by touching them; they can only use words.
3. Women hitchhikers will not get in to the car of a man, unless a woman is present.
4. Never let your daughter get into a car of a man or a Moroccan couple. But if there’s a tourist woman in the car, it’s ok.

I have learned these things firsthand. But the first one is iffy. In the medina I am often approached and touched by men but always in an affectionate, slap-on-the-arm kind of way when we are joking. But I’m not Muslim or Moroccan. And it’s obvious. So that must make it OK for them. It’s never in an offensive way. Not at all. And I quite enjoy the interactions. I’ve had comments like, “Where did you get your dress?” or “Look at your curly hair!” or “Do you think the reason you travelled so far to Morocco and then met me means we are meant to be together?” (to which I answer with a blank stare). I highly doubt a Moroccan woman would be asked these intimate questions. But I’m a tourist. I’m here to interact. And interact I do!

Whilst watching two women physically fighting about their sons, Mokhtar was helpless except with his words. He couldn’t step in and stop them physically since they are women. He could only stand on the sidelines with the other men and shout for them to stop. Had I been there, I could have stepped in and helped. Glad I wasn’t there.

Two women hitchhikers we picked up the other day would not have gotten in the car had I not been there. The presence of a woman, a tourist, helped increase their confidence that they would be safe.

Two women on the side of the road where we parked to take photos smiled shyly as I stood near them taking photos. After a few minutes, the older one approached Mokhtar and asked if we could take her granddaughter to school since she needed to be there in 20 minutes and no taxi was coming by. Of course! So grandma shook my hand and hugged and thanked profusely and granddaughter got in the car and off we went. The family dog happily joined grandma and she walked two miles or so back to her village assured of the safety of her granddaughter. All because of the female tourist in the car.