• 2012 Morocco Itinerary
  • About me, Jane
  • Japan 2010 Itinerary
  • Morocco 2013 Itinerary

See Jane Travel

See Jane Travel

Tag Archives: Dar Basyma

The broken palm tree and a hug

05 Sunday Mar 2017

Posted by seejanesblog in Morocco, Observations

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

acceptance, accomplishment, children, Dar Basyma, hammam, houligans, hug, islam, life, love, mosque, neighborhood, palm, teamwork, travel

img_4554

Graffiti in my neighborhood.

 

One time at my guesthouse in Marrakech, there were some kids outside misbehaving. Concerned they’d do some harm to each other or to others, I opened the door and reprimanded them in English, a language they don’t speak, but with a tone they recognized and understood. They stopped in their tracks and stared, probably horrified by my demeanor. All, except one little boy who boldly, from around the corner, swore at me. “Hey,” I shouted. And he swore at me again. I couldn’t see him but I knew who he was: the boy who lived next door with his grandparents because his parents had virtually abandoned him, for whatever reason. I let it slide. What could I really do about it?

Next story:

There once was an opening to a building (no door) at the end of my little street. When I, or my guests, walked out the door of Dar Basyma, they were met with this ugly site. Worried that it would start to become a problem area for kids, vagabonds, or whomever, we complained, or I should say, my business partner Mokhtar, complained on my behalf, to the mayor of our neighborhood. Mokhtar explained my concerns time and time again. “The owner of that building needs to put a door on it,” I kept complaining. “It’s not safe for any of us.” After 9 months of complaining, I received a text from Mokhtar one afternoon. It was a beautiful photo of red metal doors typical to Morocco. “These are your doors,” the text read! After enough complaining, the mayor got the owners to put doors on the opening! A sense of acceptance into the neighborhood and a feeling of accomplishment!

Next story:

One night the entire Dar Basyma team was huddled around the computer looking at security footage. Wondering what they were looking for, I joined them. “Someone broke our palm tree out front,” Abd Rahim said. “We pinpointed that it happened between 3 and 4 this morning.”

So we went through the security files second-by-second until we saw the culprit and the act itself! Who was it? The little boy who swore at me when I yelled at the kids on the street in the first story. “Why does he hate us,” I asked aloud. We were all livid and pacing inside the house. What to do, what to do. “I want to go yell at him,” Mokhtar, said. “Do it!” I replied, “and I’ll go, too.”

Blood pressure bursting through our veins, out the door all of us went: Ghizlane, the housekeeper, Abd Rahim, the house man, Mokhtar, and me. Around the corner at the barber shop was the kid scrunched in a ball on the floor amongst 4 or 5 adult men. Mokhtar was already yelling at him, I joined in. The apparent grandfather was there (he was the one who wouldn’t make eye contact with me) watching while we both yelled. Finally, realizing we were making no impact whatsoever (and were only stirring ourselves up more!), we turned to leave. It was then that I noticed a small burning hash cigarette between the fingers of the little boy. This little 10-12 year old boy was smoking hash.

Returning to the house, I slumped down on the sofa and declared that this boy has bigger problems than we do with our broken palm tree. And it hit my like a hammer over my head that this boy needs more than us yelling at him. Out loud I said, “This boy needs a hug, that’s what he needs.” It was then that Mokhtar slumped down on the chair and admitted I was right and said, “Now I have to go talk to him again and tell him I’m sorry.” We kind of laughed, but we knew it was true. After looking at this situation differently, we had a change of heart – – like within 1 minute, we took on an entirely different attitude!

What harm can one little boy do? He can continue to break our palms outside, we’ll replace them. He can spray paint our wall (he hasn’t, but he or anyone could), we’ll repaint. There’s virtually no harm he can do to us, so who cares except that we show love to him!?

Abd Rahim and Mokhtar were out the door and around the corner before I even realized. I waited until Ghizlane motioned for me to come. She and I made it to the end of the little street and were met by the boy and two men. “I’m sorry, Madame,” the boy said, looking me in the eye and extending a hand to me. “I’m sorry, Madame,” he said over and over.

I took his hand and instinctively dropped down and engulfed him in my arms, holding him with both hands. I felt him relax and smelled his hash-breath on my face as I held him. I told him quietly, in English (that he doesn’t understand), that no matter what he’s going through, no matter what he’s done, that we will be there for him and we will care for him and love him however we can. I don’t even know what all else I said to him, I just know I spoke from the heart and felt love overflowing. (And the thing is, none of them understood what I was saying as no one in that little group speaks English!) I finally let go, stood up, straightened myself out, shook his hand, and turned to leave, all while the two men stood, mouths open, staring. Not knowing what I said, but sensing kindness, they just repeated “Thank you, Madame,” over and over. Arms around each other, Ghizlane and I walked back to Dar Basyma and collapsed onto the sofa. Wow. What just happened. With my audio Arabic app on my phone, I explained to Ghizlane what I had said, the best I could.

Later that night, we heard a commotion in the neighborhood. We heard rumblings of a neighborhood meeting amongst the families on the street, but we at Dar Basyma were not invited. From our security cameras, we could see people, including the boy, walking in front of the house.

The next day was my last day in Marrakech. Walking through the neighborhood, the shop men were more talkative than usual, with one coming out into the street and shaking my hand, all the while with his hand over his heart, he repeated, “Hamdoullah, hamdoullah.” Thanks be to Allah, Thanks be to Allah. “Hamdoullah, hamdoullah,” I repeated and smiled, also with my hand over my heart. Wow, he’s friendly today, I thought, but it is a beautiful day!

After returning home to the states, Mokhtar filled me in on the rest of the story.

The night of the “incident”, the neighbors did indeed get together, all of the families met with the boy. Turns out the boy said that he had never been hugged before. No one had ever hugged him. And the families said that if he can do harm to our property and we still show him kindness and love, that they can do the same. They told him they would help him as they could and that the neighborhood will work together to take care of him. The men in the neighborhood on my last day were offering their thanks to me for the incident the night before!

The next day, I’m told, the boy went to hammam, a public bath, where the workers there gave him new clothes so that he would feel clean enough to go to mosque* and he went to mosque for the first time either ever, or in a long time.

He went to mosque! Because of a broken palm tree and a hug.

 

 

*In Islam, the way I understand it, it is important to be clean before presenting yourself to Allah. Before each time of prayer (5 times each day), there is a certain protocol for bathing. There are sinks in the middle of every restaurant and public place, fountains in every neighborhood, so people can cleanse themselves appropriately before eating or prayer.

Share this:

  • Tweet
  • Email
  • Print

Like this:

Like Loading...

The little old man of Bab Doukkala

05 Sunday Mar 2017

Posted by seejanesblog in Morocco, Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

bab doukkala, Dar Basyma, guesthouse, marrakech, Morocco, riad

img_4169

Bab Doukkala is my neighborhood in Marrakech, Morocco. It’s where my guesthouse / riad, Dar Basyma, is located. A gritty place with few to no tourists, it’s an authentic neighborhood with authentic people living authentic lives. Natural. Unassuming. Vibrant.

Soon after opening Dar Basyma, we met a gentle man we called L’Abadee, which means ‘old man’ in one of the African languages, or at least that’s what we surmised. Nonetheless, this man was dubbed that by us, even though he was probably only in his 50’s or 60’s. He owned a cardboard-lined, wire cart which he used to haul things for hire. Taking an immediate liking to him, he became our “luggage man,” toting luggage for the guests at Dar Basyma, which he did happily and with a toothless smile!

Over the next year and a half, we became as close as we could, considering we don’t speak the same language. He was the first person who greeted me when I arrived to the neighborhood and the last to bid me farewell. I looked forward to seeing him. When he was sick, I took him to the pharmacy and bought whatever medication I thought would help him, with the help of a diagnosis by the pharmacist. The team at the house did what we could for him, offering a little extra cash for the work he did for us, just to help him. He was kind and sweet and we all wanted to do whatever we could for him.

One day my business partner, Mokhtar, announced that L’Abadee had died. He died. I couldn’t grasp it. I knew he had been sick the last time I saw him, but I never suspected the sickness would kill him. When? I asked. No one knew, Mokhtar said. But apparently it was true since no one had seen him for at least 4 months. I was due to visit within days and I couldn’t imagine the neighborhood – – or even my visits to Morocco – – without him. The news was devastating.

On a quiet evening in autumn, soon after I arrived in Marrakech, the doorbell rang. we glanced at the computer image of the security camera aimed at the front door. No one was there; just the palms on either side of the front door. Then Mokhtar announced, “It’s L’Abadee!” I leapt up and flung open the door, helping the frail old man inside. He was alive! I couldn’t believe it. Instinctively I hugged him and felt his bones poking at me through his thin clothing. He must’ve weighed only 30 kg (65-70 pounds)! But he was alive. We couldn’t believe it.

While Mokhtar and L’Abadee spoke, I could see inside his gandora, (traditional dress for a man in Morocco), and saw tubing and a bag. Putting 2+2 together, between this and his very yellow skin, I determined he had liver cancer. Mokhtar confirmed it. We both hunched that he had probably just left the hospital as he had little strength and was out of breath from the walk to the house.

Desperate to tell him what he meant to me – – and thankful for this second chance! – – I spoke fast English to him even knowing that he didn’t understand. I needed to express my feelings for him. Luckily Mokhtar jumped in and translated as L’Abadee listened, with a slight smile, as we (they) spoke. We hugged, gave him the equivalent of 20USD and he was on his way. As quickly as he had arrived. In and out. Leaving behind a whirlwind of emotion.

After closing the door we went to the computer image of the security camera and watched as he leaned against the wall to adjust his tubing, his gandora, himself. And then he was gone. I knew that would be the last time I saw him.

In stunned silence we sat there. What had just happened!? After 4 months, this man came to see  us! Unbelievable.

We had to go to the parking lot so we could share with the workers there our excitement that our friend was still alive. Zachariah, my favorite attendant, greeted us. We excitedly told our news about L’Abadee. His face fell and he stepped backwards and told us to stop! Stop talking about this, it can’t be true! He treated us like we were liars and refused to believe us. So we left. It was clear that L’Abadee had only visited us.

A few weeks later we got news from the parking attendants that L’Abadee had officially died. A man in the neighborhood, who remains anonymous, paid for his hospital stay and a group of the parking attendants collected enough money to pay for a proper burial.

L’Abadee left this earth knowing he was loved. ❤

Share this:

  • Tweet
  • Email
  • Print

Like this:

Like Loading...

Walk gently on this earth

05 Sunday Mar 2017

Posted by seejanesblog in Morocco, Observations

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Dar Basyma, equality, humility, joyful, kindness, lessons learned, life, love, marrakech, Morocco, reverence, thankful, thanks, travel, walk gently

img_7319

Traveling has changed me. Traveling to Morocco has especially changed me. I am gentler and kinder, humble and thankful.

Gentler and kinder in that I see all humans as equals, none of us being better than the next. Each of us moments from either the greatest success or from the deepest despair. Humble and thankful because I’ve been accepted into a Marrakech neighborhood fairly easily over the two years I’ve owned a guesthouse, Dar Basyma. I see the same people every morning and night, and walk easily and naturally among them.

It’s probably not because of Morocco per se, rather it’s by placing myself outside of a comfort zone that has helped me see life and humanity differently; helped me see myself differently.

As a kid I imagined other countries in black and white, not in color (usually war-torn ones I saw on television where life looked awful). I thought their lives must be filled with despair and deep sadness. It must have been awful during certain times for the ones I saw, but their lives must have also been filled with love of family and friends, joy, and laughter. They must have lived in color, like I did. ‘We’re probably all the same,’ I remember thinking. And now I know we are all the same. Traveling has taught me that. People have taught me that.

“Through life, I want to walk gently. I want to treat all of life – the earth and its people – with reverence… As much as possible, I want to walk in peace. I want to walk lightly, even joyfully, through whatever days I am given. I want to laugh easily. I want to step carefully in and out of people’s lives and relationships. I don’t want to tread any heavier than necessary.

And throughout life, I think I would like to walk with more humility and less anger, more love and less fear. I want to walk confidently, but without arrogance. I want to walk in deep appreciation. I want to be genuinely thankful for life’s extravagant, yet simple, gifts – a star-splattered night sky or a hot drink on an ice-cold day.

If life is a journey, then how I make that journey is important. How I walk through life.”
― Steve Goodier

 

 

Share this:

  • Tweet
  • Email
  • Print

Like this:

Like Loading...

A word on literacy

26 Saturday Mar 2016

Posted by seejanesblog in Morocco, Observations

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

arabic, cooking classes, cyrano de bergerac, Dar Basyma, Education, French, google translate, illiterate, learning languages, literacy, marrakech, Morocco, reading, recipes, riad, roxanne, stever martin, texting, texts, translator, writing

I take for granted that people know how to read and write. But in Morocco that’s not always the case.

One day I was home alone with our housekeeper / cook at Dar Basyma. I was without the aid of my constant interpreter / business partner and was excited about this chance to get to know her better. I pulled up the Google Translate iPhone app, typed my message and showed it to her in French. She shook her head no. Misunderstanding, I typed it in Arabic instead. Again, she shook her head. The look on her face jarred me to the realization that she cannot read. Not at all. Eventually I spoke into the app and it voice-translated, but not in Darija (Moroccan Arabic) so it was cumbersome and hard to understand. So we sat awkwardly in silence and smiled until Mokhtar came back and was able to help us “chat.”

Since then I’ve learned that guests have left her notes that she cannot read. And we’ve had some mishaps with household cleaning products being used for the wrong things, lotions put in the conditioner containers (because they’re both white), and using the wrong settings on the washing machine. And she has no ability to read texts or to proofread her own spoken texts to others.

I know this is more frustrating for her than it is for the rest of us. Our house man works well with her. They’re close friends and spend much of their time laughing and huddling together over their phones as he has become a sort of Cyrano de Bergerac, penning her texts to family members, suitors, and friends; like Steve Martin in ‘Roxanne.’ It’s sweet and it’s funny, but the bottom line is that it’s mostly sad that she can’t do this work herself.

As she tells it she was a girl who liked only to have fun (I believe it, as she’s always laughing and joking). She consistently ran away from school and finally just quit. School isn’t required and for sure not required for girls so there was no motivation for her to stay at the time. Now she regrets it. And as she’s in her mid- to late-30’s, so feels it’s too late for her now.

Since she teaches the cooking classes at Dar Basyma, I’m working to put together her recipes since she obviously has nothing written down! She’s an excellent cook and she communicates well without speaking fluent English or writing, but we have no record yet of any of her myriad dishes she prepares at Dar Basyma. It’s a big job that I will pursue on my next visit.

Her solution for our inability to speak to one another is for me to learn Arabic. As though that’s an easy (or quick) task! Since she speaks French and Arabic, to her that seems an easy solution. I’m trying…

Share this:

  • Tweet
  • Email
  • Print

Like this:

Like Loading...

A Tattletale Among Us

20 Sunday Mar 2016

Posted by seejanesblog in Morocco house

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

bab doukkala, Dar Basyma, fatima, marrakech, medina, Morocco, riad

There are rules in Morocco. Or at least ways of life. And I’m just learning them. Some of them.

One day, I excitedly walked out of Dar Basyma and around the corner a few feet to see if my friends were arriving yet. I was excited because these were my first friends to visit whilst I was also there.

Apparently I did a bad thing. I noticed a  neighborhood girl watching me not with smiling eyes, but with a judgy look. I knew I had done something wrong but didn’t yet know what.

When we left the house later that day, the girl (whom I now know is Fatima) grabbed my Moroccan male companion and whispered something in his ear. To me he said, “You wore your house shoes outside earlier. She’s telling me you’re supposed to wear your house shoes inside only and wear your outside shoes outside only.”

That’s when I knew I was being watched. Scrutinized and judged. I turned and gave her the stink eye, and then I laughed. She laughed back and that was that!

Share this:

  • Tweet
  • Email
  • Print

Like this:

Like Loading...

Boss schmoss

27 Wednesday May 2015

Posted by seejanesblog in Morocco house

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

boss lady, cleaning, dar, Dar Basyma, joan crawford, marrakech, mommy deaerst, Morocco, no wire hangers, riad

There’s nothing like owning a home (that’s going to be a rental property) and having a team (Housekeeper, House Manager and Operations Manager) to show you, in glaring detail, how annoying you are!

My persnickety demands surprise even me.

  • No labels on anything. Not on pillows, sheets, towels, pans, bottoms of candles – – nothing. ‘No paper labels,’ I shout in my head like Joan Crawford. (This Mommy Dearest reference would be lost in translation if said aloud)
  • No clocks. Don’t let guests even inkle the time. Let them completely relax and lose themselves in the culture and flow of Marrakech life. Besides, if they knew they’d be eating at 22:00 hours, they’d freak.
  • No dust or grime on any light switch or electrical plug or ledge or moulding or surface of any kind.
  • These actual words came out of my mouth, “Your first priority is to make it pretty.” This came to mind when I noticed the House Manager had put a dish scrubby in a leftover container of spackle or something like that. “If it’s not pretty, don’t use it,” I say.
  • No matches or candles allowed in case a guest forgets to blow them out.
  • More sauce in the tajine (I did say ‘please’, at least)
  • Duplicate sets of keys sorted by color for each room. Each room has its color.
  • No talking on the phone when clients are here.
  • ‘We’re getting Dar Basyma tee shirts so we look professional’, I said. Yes! This came from my mouth! I absolutely hate having to wear the tee shirts/outfits my company makes us wear from time to time so I really can’t believe I said this.

And after all of this, the House Manager came to me tonight and said, “Put the coffee cups here, not there. You come here if you need them.” I had to laugh because this really isn’t my house; I’ll be here like 3x per year and they will run the place, for crying out loud!

Share this:

  • Tweet
  • Email
  • Print

Like this:

Like Loading...

Dar Basyma

26 Tuesday May 2015

Posted by seejanesblog in Morocco house

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

basyma, culture, dar, Dar Basyma, marrakech, Morocco, Myriad Property, neighborhood, property, real estate

Three years ago, almost to the day, I visited Morocco for the first time. Within moments of that first visit I knew I loved it, especially the rural areas. A slow rhythm of life in the villages with children playing, animals roaming about, and women in traditional clothing talking to each other and minding the household tasks. Birds sang, winds blew, rain came and went, tranquility! And exactly what I needed at the time.

Marrakech, however, was my least favorite place of all the places I visited that trip – – and a few more trips after that! It seemed “too much.” Too much movement, too many people, too loud, too much traffic, too hot, just too much. But with each visit, Marrakech grew on me and I missed the activity and movement of it all when I was away. I came to realize its charm and wildness and joy. There’s a vibrancy here, a pulse. It’s undulating with life and activity and I like feeling a part of it.

On each visit I met more people and became more comfortable with my surroundings. I got more of a sense of the real place and not just the tourist view I held before. I explored the medina, the old part of town that most tourists see and the new city as well. It started feeling familiar by finding stores similar to what I’m used to at home and restaurants dubbed “my favorite”. It became a place I wanted to visit over and over again. And I did.

On the 9th or so visit, I bought a house! After looking at dozens of places and analyzing neighborhoods, researching the feasibility of purchasing as a foreigner, spending hours meeting with lawyers (notaries, as they are called here), interviewing accountants, and visiting various government offices (where everything is done with pen and paper, many times, at multiple stations around a room for checking and double-checking later), I finally selected an accountant, a notary, and a home.

Taking renters into the home means having a bonafide business registered with the Moroccan government. I created it and called it Myriad Property. It means ‘an unlimited amount’ but also, separated, it becomes My Riad Property, so it has double-meaning. It’s registered and operational, soon to be taking in revenue.

The place is named ‘Dar Basyma.’ Dar = house and Basyma = Big Smile. I had a choice in spelling to name it Dar Basima (which means ‘smile’) but I chose the spelling with a ‘y’ because I have a friend named Basyma in Beirut, Lebanon and wanted to take that spelling for her. I think ‘big smile’ fits better anyway! Exciting for sure!

So now I’m at the house, getting things up and running for guests. Already we’ve had two sets of visitors and there are four of us working on it: an Operations Manager, a House Manager and a Housekeeper. It’s a lot of fun and I hope it continues to be. It’s already busy enough that we’ve had to turn people away!

This is the beginning of something big, incha’llah.

Share this:

  • Tweet
  • Email
  • Print

Like this:

Like Loading...

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 732 other subscribers

The Calendar

January 2023
S M T W T F S
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
293031  
« Apr    

The recent past

  • Living above my means
  • The broken palm tree and a hug
  • The little old man of Bab Doukkala
  • The kindness of a stranger
  • Walk gently on this earth
  • Love everlasting
  • And suddenly it hits you…
  • It’s not what you’re given, it’s what you do with it

Stuff from my past

See Jane Travel

  • @BravoObsessed6 He sure has a type. 10 months ago
  • @bmvwood @debbie_bros Same! 12 months ago
Follow @seejanetravel

Blogs worth reading

  • Moroccan Sahara Tours on Facebook
  • My trips: Argentina, Falkland Islands, South Georgia, and Antarctica
  • My trips: Tibet, China and Vietnam
  • Nomadic Matt's Travel Site
  • Susan Atherton's blog
  • Travel Notes by Mr. and Mrs. Globetrot
  • Turkey Travel Guide

Food! Glorious food!

  • Street food in Marrakech

Stuff worth knowing

  • Barbara Robinson's Trip Report – Istanbul
  • Definition 'kasbah'
  • Definition 'riad'
  • Definition 'souq'
  • Morocco Travel Guide
  • Turkey Travel Guide
  • Volubilis, Morocco: about it

My traveling past in Flickr photos

...dunkler Himmel über StykkishólmurPapučica / Slipper flower (Calceolaria herbeohybrida)Dreamlike PathASUNDERAmuse-GueuleWinter over the Grand Union Canal …"The Unknown From The Seine"Free  Feature • Read the 'Behind the scene' storyMare d'inverno
More Photos

Meta

  • Register
  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.com

Blog at WordPress.com.

  • Follow Following
    • See Jane Travel
    • Join 97 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • See Jane Travel
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
%d bloggers like this: